Dealing with Disappointment
“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’”
-John 11:32
Mary and Martha were two of Jesus’ close friends. Mary was the one who had once expressed her love for Jesus by anointing His feet with oil and wiping it with her hair. They had seen Him perform miracles and knew He was the Lord.
So, they sent someone to deliver their dire message to Him. They were desperately relying on Him to hurry to their house and heal their brother, Lazarus, from his sickness.
Instead, Jesus intentionally stayed where He was for two more days! When He finally arrived, Mary wept and told Him that Lazarus had died…
Jesus joined them in their weeping, sympathizing with their pain of disappointment and sorrow. Thankfully, that wasn’t the end of the story. Jesus lifted up His head and prayed, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” He called forth to Lazarus and he rose from the dead, still wrapped in the gravecloth and everything!
I experience multiple reactions every time I read the story of Lazarus. At first, I’m shocked that Jesus waits a couple days before heading out to Bethany, where Lazarus lived. Then, I feel His love when He pauses to weep with those mourning Lazarus’ death. And finally, I’m thrilled when Lazarus walks out of that tomb alive, and others believe in Jesus as a result.
But, can you imagine the amount of disappointment the two sisters must have felt when Jesus didn’t make it back in time to save their brother? Both of them had the same response when He finally arrived: that had He been there, Lazarus would still be alive.
However, faith remained within Martha. She said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”
She knew that He could do anything, despite the fact that Lazarus had already passed away. In desperation and through her belief in Jesus’ divinity, all her hope was placed in Him despite the tragedy she just faced.
In the moment, the two women and others who were mourning had no idea what Jesus had planned to do. Jesus, on the other hand, knew exactly what His plan and purpose was. But, in order to reveal His glory, they had to experience sorrow.
Sometimes, the Lord allows us to be disappointed with our expectations so that He can show up with something greater that will bring Him praise and glory. In the case of Lazarus’ story, Jesus explained why He stayed behind: it was for the glory of God so that He, as the Son of God, could be glorified through it (verse 4). As a result, many came to believe in Him because of this mighty miracle (verse 45).
Other times, the Lord allows us to be disappointed so that He can reveal what’s truly in our hearts. For example, maybe you didn’t get accepted for a higher-paying job you wanted. Or maybe something financially unexpected happens and you need to deplete your savings. Our reactions to scenarios like those reveal the motive of our hearts. As His children, we will either learn to re-direct all of our hope in Jesus or keep our hope in things of this world.
In other instances, He allows disappointment so that our patience and trust can grow. He wants us to surrender 100% of our trust to Him. I’ve experienced this over and over again in my life, especially as someone who tries to control outcomes and situations. He’ll kindly allow disappointments in my life so that I can be humbled by reminding me that I’m not in charge, but He is!
All in all, disappointment results from God telling us NO or NOT YET.
Through the disappointments, though, we can firmly trust that God is faithful to redeem and provide his perfect will.
How do we trust the Lord in our disappointment?
Know and believe in His character: that He is always a good Father and that nothing is out of His sight or control. Psalm 145:9 says, “The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.”
Know your identity in Christ. We are His children which means He will discipline and correct us. He will also provide the best for us from His heavenly perspective (Philippians 4:19, “But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus”).
Understand that you don’t have God’s perspective. He knows the end from the beginning. From our vantage point, we can’t always understand what God is doing or why He is allowing certain events to transpire. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways." At the end of the day, though, He is so amazing that He is able to work all things together for good according to His perfect will (Romans 8:28).
Remember that God comforts us in the disappointments and in the waiting. He relates to our emotions of disappointment and sorrow and understands that we don’t have His perspective of what He is accomplishing through our hurt. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction…”
As long as we are human, we will experience some level of disappointment from unmet expectations, from others, through delayed hopes, or the delivery of bad news. But this is precisely why, as Christians, our hope is not in this world nor the things of it. Our hope is in Jesus Christ and His promise of eternal life.
Take a Moment:
I’ve listed a 5-day “challenge” for you this week to apply the message from this devotional.
Day 1: Reflect — What was the last scenario in your life when you felt disappointment? How did you respond? Has God revealed the “why” yet?
Day 2: Write — Express your emotions to God through journaling or typing about a time where you think He didn’t come through for you. Ask Him to reveal how He did come through and showed up in HIS way. Consider also writing down a verse or two about His faithfulness to meditate on during the week.
Day 3: Read — Open up Psalm 42 today and meditate on the parts that stick out to you.
Day 4: Pray — In your prayer time today, acknowledge God for His characteristics of faithfulness, goodness, comfort, and control.
Day 5: Worship — Spend a couple minutes in praising Him for the hope and promise of eternal life! Listen or look up the lyrics of the following song for more encouragement: “Counting My Blessings” by Seph Schlueter.
Trusting that God is in control in our disappointments is what it means to live by faith.
-Alina